Making More Room for Introverts in Team Decision Making

One challenging dynamic that just about every team experiences at some point is the tension between introverts and extroverts. This tension manifests itself in many ways, from how information is shared and processed, to how decisions are made. 

This was precisely the focus of a 3-day retreat I co-facilitated this spring with 11 product development teams from an enterprise software company. As with most product development teams, these were very interdisciplinary teams with people from all different educational backgrounds and professional experiences who lived all over the world. 

This was a company that invested heavily in culture, so the teams already had a high level of trust and shared accountability, but there was recognition that their decision-making processes had room for improvement. For example:

• Discussions that went on too long without any structure or resolution.

• Some people felt their voices weren’t heard or valued as much as others.

• A lack of structure for determining when a decision required unanimity or consensus, and when that didn’t matter.

Going into the retreat, the facilitator team knew that while about two-thirds of the people were introverts, the extroverts largely dominated the conversation during these retreats. So I selected a nonverbal, collaborative game called The Mind, in which teams have to play cards in numeric order from lowest to highest without talking or gesturing in any way regarding the numeric value of their cards. It’s about using non-verbal communication, playing close attention to body language and facial expressions, and intuiting a shared sense of pacing and risk tolerance.

Within minutes of starting the game, we could see the insight light bulbs turning on across the teams as everyone realized how differently introverts and extroverts processed information. At first, the extroverts were visibly uncomfortable without the ability to share their thoughts, ask questions, or express their ideas and frustrations verbally. They felt lost and stressed that their contributions weren’t being recognized.

And then a funny thing started to happen. 

Introverts are used to being talked over and left out of conversations, and usually understand that these perceived slights are not intentional, but the result of extroverts needing to hear their thoughts aloud to process information. In the absence of the immediate conversation while playing The Mind, the introverts started to take initiative and model non-verbal ways of communicating and coordinating across team members. 

The extroverts realized that their need to think aloud can be perceived as dominating the conversation, and how team discussions benefited from making sure more perspectives were sought. They observed the value that comes from nonverbal communication. 

As the teams reflected on these insights, everyone recognized how mutually beneficial it was to take a few moments to think in silence before diving into conversation and action because it activated the excellence and wisdom of their colleagues. They were so excited to apply these insights to their real work, rethinking everyday actions such as: 

• the structure of their meetings. 

• when they shared information that factor into decision-making.

• how to make space for everyone in the conversation. 

The shared experience created an opportunity for active listening, empathy, and ideation. By understanding each other - and themselves - a little better, each person felt more accountable to their colleagues and motivated to adjust their behavior for better collective outcomes.

Can you imagine how much stickier most training would be if the involved play like this?