A manager wants to tell a teammate their slide deck report isn't up to standard, and she softens the email message to avoid being overly critical. "Lots of strong pieces here, just a few copy edits," the manager replies. Her teammate walks away thinking the deck is fine. A week later, after presenting the slightly revised deck to company leaders, the teammate feels blindsided when the room is visibly confused. The manager is frustrated that her suggestions didn’t result in t

Many years ago I had an extremely frustrating performance review. By and large, I was doing great: my work was high quality, I stepped up when people needed help, and I was being considered for a promotion. But there was one area that needed improvement: during some meetings, I spoke in a way that a few people found frustrating. Yes, the feedback was that vague. I’m a detail-oriented person, so naturally, I asked for more specifics, and perhaps a few examples. I was not tryin

We have previously written about the vocabulary problem in the business world, and it is costing companies more than they realize. For decades, many have divided professional skills into two camps, hard skills and soft skills. Hard skills are the technical ones, the ones you can test, certify, and put on a resume. Soft skills are everything else, that range from communication, listening, empathy, leadership, collaboration. The framing implies a hierarchy. Hard is rigorous an

Think about the last time you played a game like Charades. Someone is up front, arms flailing, miming something that seems obvious to them and incomprehensible to everyone else. The room is laughing, guessing, and leaning in. Nobody is checking their phone. Everyone is present because the experience has fully captured their attention. Or how about a pickup basketball game. Five strangers figuring out in real time how to work together. No agenda or slides. Just a shared unders